Lighting the Matchbox on Fire: Bad, bad, bad

Sunday, July 10

Bad, bad, bad

Lunch and dinner yesterday, and breakfast today, all with my father, HORRIBLE. So many calories. Over 1200. Yuck. So many calories today. Binge, binge, binge. I cant stop. Really, I'm still stuffing my face even though I know the bad numbers. I need to stop. Fast the rest of the day? I think so. Diet Pepsi lime, warm water with honey. But I'll probably fuck that up too.

I hate fucking up. ~~But I cant stop~~. I need to do better.

UPDATE: So I kept binging after this post, today is somewhere around 1300's. BADBADBAD. So between yesterday and today, I am in debt 1126 calories. I need to stick with 700/ day. I need to show myself I can do this one this. So to make up for it, I will stick to 550 for the next week. Exercise is a necessity, but it doesn't count towards my daily total. I'm done failing. Time for crunches.

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Welcome, Wintergirls

I am approximately 17 years old and still struggling to descide how many more years I wish to see. I start university this fall, and in my search for greater knowledge, I also hope to find myself with a narrower waist and thinner thighs. A girl can dream... The earliest I remember my brokenness was fifth grade. Since then, I have recovered and relapsed --with and without official treatment-- more times than I can count. I see triggers in all of the most unavoidable things, and for that reason I believe this cycle will continue for the rest of my so called life. Ah, well. Might as well hope to die thin.