My doctor calls it disordered eating. My therapist called it anorexia with bulimic tendencies. My parents don't understand what it is at all. I call it control. I'm a calorie restricter, a laxie addict, a sometimes puker, a sometimes former cutter, a writer, a sister, a fuck-up of a daughter, but I'm never, ever, just me.
Tuesday, July 12
Just Nothing
Its funny. At the beggining of the summer, just weeks ago, I thought I was actually capable of dieting without falling back into ana. Without letting her wrap her boney, elegant fingers around my throat, her sharp nails making me bleed. I thought wrong. So, so wrong.
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It's a hard road but you're strong. You'll survive.
ReplyDeleteAlso I'd like to thank you for your advice. I know what I'm going to do now so hopefully it wont be so bad. Thank you!
xx