I feel so gross right now. I want to puke. But I've never successfully purged before. Because I fail at everything. Is there a first for anything? Ugh. Why am I such a fat ass? Oh, wait! I know why! Because I continue to stuff my face even though I know the outcome. Today I ate Yogurt and cereal for breakfast (300?), FOUR Ikea vegetable medalions (520) plus veggies and butter (80-100?) and chips (100) and chocolate chips (50) and yourt with blueberries (150?) and a couple spoonfuls of jello (>5) and juice (200). And its only 4pm. I AM SUCH A FUCKING FAILURE. Ugh.
I need to start not sucking at life otheriwse I will lose all my followers unless you guys read me as reverse thinspo? I hate my life, I hate my body, I hate the fact that I have the control but I dont have the will power to change any of this. If I ever meet any of you in person, please promise to put a bullet through my scull. No, I dont even deserve the freedom of dying.
You're just going through a tough period at the moment. You just need to hang in there and pull through. Your body is rebelling but you'll get back in control soon. There was a period of time when before I starred blogging where I lost all self control and just stuffed my face with anything I could get my hands on. It's gets better, I promise. Soon you'll have the control on the world. And don't worry! I love your blog! I won't stop reading.
ReplyDeleteKeep strong lovely,
xx
p.s I'm first year university student but I'm doing two degrees at once, anplied science and biomedical science so the work load gets pretty full on sometimes.
Aw hun it'll be OK. Everyone haves some rough periods. You can do it hun.
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